A new NYT op ed tells people’s stories of their wedding night. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/02/opinion/ultra-orthodox-jewish-wedding-night.html
Marriages among the ultra-Orthodox sometimes happen between complete strangers. For some, entering the “intimacy room” with their new spouse is the first time either has been alone with a member of the opposite sex, aside from immediate family members.A bride and groom can experience profound awkwardness — and far worse — in their initial physical union. Though not every first night spent together is traumatic, similar questions loom over every ultra-Orthodox wedding: When the band quiets down, the guests leave and the bride and groom go home together, what will happen between them? Will it be good? Will it be welcome?I set out to interview members of my community to explore those questions in the short film above, “The First Night.” I hope my work opens up a space within the ultra-Orthodox community to talk about the range of emotions — excitement, anxiety, fear, terror — that couples experience on what is supposed to be among the happiest days of their lives.
